Venn Diagrams for Startups

Venn diagrams about startup life, entrepreneurship, VCs, and building things nobody asked for.

Make Your Own →
QUICK CALL EXPECTATIONSQUICK CALL REALITYWraps up in fiveminutes flatClear agenda,crisp conclusionEveryone hangs upfeeling resolvedStill onthe callsomehowNobodyknows whoshould hangup firstStartedwith 'justone quickthing'Someone's dogbarks for 40minutesTurns into a fullstrategy offsiteThree peopleforget to unmutethemselvesThe Eternal Five Minutesilovevenndiagrams.com

Quick Call Expectations vs Quick Call reality →

👁 7

COLLEGE DEGREEACTUAL JOBCosts $200k tofeel smartTeaches18th-century litanalysisProfessors haven'tworked outsideacademiaInvolvespretendingtounderstandthingsDeadlinesnobodyactuallyenforcesCoffee as acopingmechanismTeaches Excel viapanicBoss learnedmanagement from apodcastPays you to answerSlack at midnightStructured Confusionilovevenndiagrams.com

College degree vs Actual Job →

👁 6

MANAGERSMOTIVATIONAL QUOTESScheduled 9ammeeting aboutmeetingsTakes creditduringretrospectivesHas LinkedInPremium, obviouslySoundprofound,meannothingIgnoreactual rootproblemsBoostmoralewithoutraisingsalariesPrinted onsomeone's sadoffice mugMisattributed toEinsteinconstantlySunrise stockphoto mandatoryEmpty Caloriesilovevenndiagrams.com

Managers vs Motivational Quotes →

👁 7

MAKING SKATE VIDEOSSTARTUPSConcrete tasteslike failurepersonallyVX1000 makeseverything lookholyBail footagesecretly the bestfootage999attemptsbefore theone clipHype diesbeforeproductshipsFounderwears samehoodieforeverPivot is justfalling withPowerPointBurn rate soundsrad, isn'tTerm sheets nobodyactually readsBroke & Delusionalilovevenndiagrams.com

making skate videos vs startups →

👁 5

JOB DESCRIPTIONSACTUAL JOBSMentions work-lifebalanceunironicallyLists 47 requiredskills forentry-levelCompetitive salarymeans Google ityourselfExcelproficiencysomehowalwaysrequiredVagueenough tomeananythingSlack messages at11pm on FridayFixing Dave'sspreadsheet againMeetings thatcould've beenemailsCreative Fiction Zoneilovevenndiagrams.com

Job descriptions vs Actual jobs →

👁 12

CORPORATE TRAININGCOMMON SENSEMandatory quizwith obviousanswersCertificate forsurvivingPowerPointRole-playscenarios nobodybelievesRarelyappliedunderpressureEveryoneclaims tohave itAcquired free,ignored constantlyNo completionbadge awardedWorks withoutWi-FiTheoretical Wisdomilovevenndiagrams.com

Corporate training vs Common sense →

👁 5

RUNNINGWORKChafing is alegitimate hazardPeople cheer youat finish linesQuitting mid-mileis sociallyacceptableYou dreadMondayseither wayHitting awall isinevitableEveryonefakesenthusiasmsometimesDress code rarelyinvolves spandexCan expense a badlunchPassive aggressionreplaces physicalpainVoluntary Sufferingilovevenndiagrams.com

Running vs Work →

👁 5

REMOTE WORKOFFICE WORKPants optionaluntil 3pmCat walks acrosskeyboardmid-meetingFridge proximityis a liabilityMuted yourselfinstead ofspeaking againPretendingto lookbusyMeetingsthat shouldbe emailsSlack pingsat 4:58pmFridaySomeone stealsyour lunch. Again.Mandatory fun withSusan from HRFluorescentlighting slowlydrains soulCommute eats 10hours weeklySuffering, Differentlyilovevenndiagrams.com

Remote Work vs Office Work →

👁 10

COFFEEPRODUCTIVITYSmells incredibleat 6amGives you theshakesSociallyacceptableaddictionPeaks, thencrasheshardFakedconstantlyin officesRequiresgrinding toworkMeasured inPomodoros somehowCelebrated inannual reviewsRuins weekendsguilt-freeLiquid Delusionilovevenndiagrams.com

coffee vs productivity →

👁 10

CORPORATE BUZZWORDSREAL MEANING'Let's circleback' (neverspeaking again)'Bandwidth' (not acomputer termanymore)'Synergy' (no oneknows, includingspeaker)'Pivot' (wefailed, pivotingblame)'Rightsizing'meanslayoffs'Transparency'hideseverything'Alignment'= justagree'You're fired'(direct,efficient, honest)'We messed up'(radical corporaterarity)'No budget forthat' (actualanswer)Accidental Honestyilovevenndiagrams.com

Corporate buzzwords vs Real meaning →

👁 9

MEETINGSEMAILSCould've been anemailMandatory awkwardsmall talkSomeone's mic isalways mutedNobodyreads theagendaEnds with'circlebackoffline'Buries theactualpointCould've been aSlack messageReply-allapocalypse riskPassive-aggressiveread receiptsProductivity Theaterilovevenndiagrams.com

Meetings vs Emails →

👁 7

MEDIEVAL KNIGHTSLINKEDIN INFLUENCERSLiterally joustedfor careeradvancementArmor doubled aspersonal brandingDragon-slaying onthe résuméPledgedloyalty topowerfulpatronsWore acostume tosignalstatusCode ofconductnobodyactuallyfollowsHumble-braggingabout airportloungesTurning redundancyinto 'pivot story'Selling courses onbeing themselvesPerformative Honorilovevenndiagrams.com

Medieval Knights vs LinkedIn Influencers →

👁 8

FROGCEOEats flies forsustenanceMetamorphosis isliteral, notmetaphoricalActually enjoysbeing in a swampCold-bloodedwhennecessaryPuffs upwhenthreatenedLeapsbeforelookingEats flies on aprivate jetBusiness casualcamouflageMetamorphosis viaLinkedIn rebrandApex Pond Predatorsilovevenndiagrams.com

Frog vs CEO →

👁 11

CATSSTARTUPSKnock things offtablesdeliberatelySleep 16 hours,unapologeticallySelf-cleaning, lowmaintenanceIgnore youuntil theyneedsomethingDisruptexistingfurniturearrangements90% failwithin yearoneBurn through cashat alarming speedPivot strategyevery otherTuesdayDeck obsessivelyupdated forinvestorsChaos With Potentialilovevenndiagrams.com

Cats vs Startups →

👁 12

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