Lawyer Therapist
Expensive Listeners Club
Only Lawyer
- • Bills you $400 for thinking about you
- • Argues crying is inadmissible evidence
- • Technically wins if you shut up
What They Share
- • Paid to pretend they care
- • Knows your worst secrets, legally bound
- • Hour ends mid-breakdown, sorry
Only Therapist
- • Nods while you blame your mother again
- • Celebrates when you feel worse first
- • Keeps a tissue box as emotional bait
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